Have I mentioned lately how blessed I am?

K holding G-Man as G-Man holds tight onto Daddy's sweater.

I probably haven't said it enough. The Lord has blessed me in so many ways! My incredible, loving, giving, servant-hearted husband, my beautiful son, my family and friends, our jobs, our health..the list goes on.

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday on the Christian calendar. G-Man went to church with me at noon and it was wonderful. he decided that he was hungry 1/2 way through the service so we went into the Parent Room (cry room, family room). There were several comfy glider rockers in there and we got comfy and I nursed him while I watched the service on a TV monitor. It was beautiful to be able to praise the Lord and learn more about His word while nourishing my son in the way the Lord designed and intended in a room and an environment that was gentle and supportive.

After the service I ran into Tina and her Mom! Since there was a lunch after the service and since G-Man had eaten and was comfy, I stayed and enjoyed a wonderful lunch and prayer with Tina and her Mom. I was wearing G-Man in the sling and it worked so well to be able to move around church (which is pretty big) and have my hands pretty much free and mostly I love having him so close. Tina follows my blog and we were talking about the heartache I had when K was giving G-Man his first bottle. She helped me put words and reason on that ache...it's the realization that the little person that I grew inside me, that I nourished and nurtured, that I loved before he was born, the little man who depends on me for food and love and diaper changes is slowly moving away from me. He will never again be as close to me physically as he was for 8.5 months. Sigh, deep breath...G-man will grow up, will learn how to crawl, walk, run. He will want to go to the park without me, I will have to watch as he gets on the school bus and it drives away...and I will celebrate his achievements and cheer for him as he learns to do things on his own. But I will also worry, fret and miss the little hands that hold my finger tight as he falls asleep on my chest.

Oh one more thing, as I was leaving church a group of 3 women stopped me to remark about the sling I was wearing G-Man in and of course, his cuteness! We talked for several minutes, then as I was saying goodbye, they asked to pray over us! It was a beautiful prayer and I left church yesterday feeling so much of His love and the gift of peace and happiness. Truly, I am blessed!

He's cute even when he cries!

And, as quickly as all the crying started (which was like instantly, no wind up!) it stopped and G-man fell back to sleep...)

*This* almost made me cry!

Seriously, if it had been anyone else but K giving little G-Man his first bottle I would have lost it and broken down in tears. As it was I took a few pics, then had to leave the room. I couldn't stay and watch. I didn't like seeing it, it felt wrong, it looked wrong, it *WAS* wrong. It ate up a little part of me. Yes, the milk that G-Man is drinking is my pumped breast milk, but seeing a bottle at his lips just killed me. We had to do introduce him to a bottle though, since I will be returning to work in a few weeks and he will have to eat while I am gone. G-man will get probably 1 or 2 bottles a week from Daddy until I return to work, just so he knows how to eat from one and is ok with it. I already have a stash of milk pumped and in the freezer and will continue to do more. I just feel like the only place he should be eating is in my arms and from me. I have chosen (and K is wonderfully supportive of it) to breastfeed the little guy. There is no arguing that God is the best engineer and that He made breast milk to be the perfect source of nutrition for baby. For example, did you know that even if mom doesn't get enough calcium in her diet that her body will still make breast milk with enough calcium for baby? Sigh, this is not a hurdle I ever imagined that I would have to overcome. My emotional response to seeing this last night really threw me for a loop.

Please tell me how to slow down time!

Four weeks ago today the little G-Man was born! Seriously, can someone please tell me where that 4 weeks went? I know I didn't sleep thru it! He was up from 3:30-8:30 this morning and I loved that 5 hours. He wasn't fussing or crying, he was just not tired and so we played and told stories and sang songs. He makes the most precious faces! I will try to keep my camera closer so I can capture some of those fleeting moments. Today, he is hanging out in his kangaroo sling on me and we are getting a few house-type things done (washing diapers, sheets, blankets, making dinner...) Happy 4 week birthday my sweet little prince!

My heart is singing!

Above, a new pic I took today using the remote shutter control on my camera.

I normally *hate* Valentine's Day. It's strictly a commercial holiday; buy cards, jewelry, chocolate, stuffed animals...it's stupid. You should be showing and telling those whom you cherish and love how you feel about them daily, not once every 365 days. Making a special effort weekly to show your spouse, family, kids that you love them should be something we all do. K certainly does that for me and I hope that I do the same for him.

Today, well, this Valentine's Day is a little different. Maybe it's being a new mom and having this overwhelming new flood of love surrounding this family. We didn't go anywhere, buy any gifts for each other, or have a special dinner. We did spend the day in the house together, kissing each time we passed in the hallways, snuggling our son and just being loving. Pretty much a day like any other, a beautiful day full of peace, respect, love and simplicity.

A letter to my son

My Dearest Little Boy,

Three weeks ago today the sun rose on the world as I held you in my arms for your first sunrise. The past 22 days, your first 22 days, have flown past me all to quickly. I struggle with the need for sleep and not wanting to miss any minutes of your life. You are already growing and changing in so many ways. Your cry yanks at my heart, I cannot bear the thought of you being uncomfortable or in pain. I love to watch your face as you find your hands and pop your thumb into your mouth, or watch a small whimper magically transform into a silly smile all while you sleep in my arms. I struggle with knowing that you need to learn good sleeping habits which means letting you sleep in the co-sleeper next to my bed, but wanting to feel your breath on my neck and your chest rise and fall as you sleep on me. I literally kiss you more than 200 times a day, every day; and as I place these gentle kisses on your toes, knees, hands, face, head, ears, tummy and chest I whisper to you.

"I love you more than anyone else in the world will ever love you."

"I love you so much, always and forever."

"You are a blessing in my life and I will forever thank the Lord for you."

"Mommy loves you."

I tell you that I have to fill you up with kisses now because I know there will come a day when you don't let me kiss you and hold you close. I dread that day and even as I type this it brings tears to my eyes to realize that. Just know this my beautiful son, you are loved and wanted more than words can ever represent.

Your Dad and I made sure you were born into the world in a place of love and peace, surrounded by people who are gentle and who care for both you and me. Your Dad and I are also making tough choices and doing lots of research to be sure that the decisions we make about your life are thought out and deliberate. We want to give you as much of a healthy, successful, loving start to life as anyone can have.

You will forever be my son, my little boy, the amazing person who grew inside me, whom I love more than I can ever explain.

All my love,

Mommy

It's finally setting in and I am ...

...ex·hausted (ĭg-zôst'ed) v. ex·haust·ed, ex·haust·ing, ex·hausts 1.To wear out completely, to use up completely

I think the extreme excitement, thrill and wonder of being a new mommy for 20 days (I can't believe it's been that long already!) and the lack of sleep are finally catching up to me. Little G-Man has had a nice little growth spurt which means breastfeeding (on demand) every 60-75 minutes for the past 2 days. I am sore and tired, but wouldn't trade it for anything! I never realized how hard breastfeeding can be, but I am blessed that I have a great resource in our midwife and amazing support from my wonderful hubby. I do hope to get caught up on sleep and take and post some new pics as the week continues. But now, G-Man has a clean diaper, a full tummy and he's sleeping which means it's Mommy's nap time!

A lazy Saturday

Little G-Man and I are still lounging around in our jammies and it's almost noon! K had a chance to go snowboarding today with a friend and I told him he should go. Since I have been pregnant all winter he hasn't had anyone to snowboard with and I feel bad about that. Hopefully the slopes are not too crowded and the base isn't too icy.

I think later tonite we'll try another photo shoot with the Monster dog and G-Man together. Keep your fingers crossed, if this works, it'll be an amazing shot!!!

Family photos

My friend, scrapbooking supplier, Faithbooking inspiration, woman who introduced me to my new church and amazing photographer, TINA came to our home yesterday and spent two hours capturing K, G-Man and I in some beautiful family photos. I am just speechless at the sneak peek that we have been given. I can't wait to see the rest! Click on the above links to see what I am talking about with Tina and click on the links below to see the beautiful family pics she is giving a preview of! WOW!
http://tinavega.blogspot.com/2009/02/guess-who-i-saw-today.html
http://tinavega.blogspot.com/2009/02/sneak-peek.html

You can book photo sessions with Tina by going here: http://tinavegaphotography.com/

Happy Birthday to Me!

It is the most wonderful birthday, despite that now, if you were to round my age, you would have to round up to 40! The two handsome men in my life indulged me and let me play photographer and I think I got some cute shots of G-Man and Daddy together. What more could a girl want for her birthday?

Tonite, Chinese take out (without MSG) and a rental of my favorite book made into my favorite movie...The Princess Bride. If you have not seen this one, you really owe it to yourself and your family. It's a great family movie and absolutely hilarious! It's a classic tale! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find my Inigo Montoya shirt (yes, I have one!) and see if I can fit into it!