A letter to my son

My Dearest Little Boy,

Three weeks ago today the sun rose on the world as I held you in my arms for your first sunrise. The past 22 days, your first 22 days, have flown past me all to quickly. I struggle with the need for sleep and not wanting to miss any minutes of your life. You are already growing and changing in so many ways. Your cry yanks at my heart, I cannot bear the thought of you being uncomfortable or in pain. I love to watch your face as you find your hands and pop your thumb into your mouth, or watch a small whimper magically transform into a silly smile all while you sleep in my arms. I struggle with knowing that you need to learn good sleeping habits which means letting you sleep in the co-sleeper next to my bed, but wanting to feel your breath on my neck and your chest rise and fall as you sleep on me. I literally kiss you more than 200 times a day, every day; and as I place these gentle kisses on your toes, knees, hands, face, head, ears, tummy and chest I whisper to you.

"I love you more than anyone else in the world will ever love you."

"I love you so much, always and forever."

"You are a blessing in my life and I will forever thank the Lord for you."

"Mommy loves you."

I tell you that I have to fill you up with kisses now because I know there will come a day when you don't let me kiss you and hold you close. I dread that day and even as I type this it brings tears to my eyes to realize that. Just know this my beautiful son, you are loved and wanted more than words can ever represent.

Your Dad and I made sure you were born into the world in a place of love and peace, surrounded by people who are gentle and who care for both you and me. Your Dad and I are also making tough choices and doing lots of research to be sure that the decisions we make about your life are thought out and deliberate. We want to give you as much of a healthy, successful, loving start to life as anyone can have.

You will forever be my son, my little boy, the amazing person who grew inside me, whom I love more than I can ever explain.

All my love,

Mommy