jug·gle
Pronunciation: ˈjə-gəl
transitive verb: to handle or deal with usually several things (as obligations) at one time so as to satisfy often competing requirements
I have never been able to juggle. The whole ability to keep 2 bean bags in the air and one moving in the hand is lost on me. Now, I find myself in the middle of the most demanding, most difficult, most important juggling act of a lifetime and I still can't do it. I don't like to do something if I can't do it really, really well so this is eating away at me and I feel like such a failure. I am not doing my job as well as I used to, my attention and worries are elsewhere and I am only in the office 3 days a week. I am not paying the attention to my amazing hubby that I used to; he is my best friend and I feel like I am drifting away from him because we just don't have anymore "us" time. I feel like I am shortchanging my perfectly beautiful son because I am at work 3 days a week. I wonder if I am stimulating him and giving him all the things he needs to thrive, develop and grow healthily and proper. He is 3.5 months old now, what milestones should I be helping him to try to reach? Rolling over, reaching and grabbing things, pushing things...? I hate the feeling of feeling like I am failing at all 3, this sucks. It's like I can't do any of them well enough, I just can't juggle...
3 comments:
Honestly, youre right, the more we take on, the more something else doesnt get all of our attention.
I'd place work in a box, if you can, and say what I accomplish on this day is what gets done and leave the office, as often as you can, with the attitude that you did a good job, you gave it as much brain power as you could.
Ask hubby how he feels about your friendship. Does he feel as if you've neglected him? I'd say he probably doesnt, its just that your relationship has forever changed and there will be fewer "us" moments but those are now replaced by "the three of us moments" and isnt that a little better, different yes, but still great. :)
With G-man, the great thing about typical developing babies is that they usually are internally motivated to grow and learn. Let him show you what he's to be working on. Yes, stimulation is greatly important in all areas (motor, cognitive, language, etc.) and there are some great books out there to inspire activities, but as long as your spending quality time with him then he's gonna do great. :) Follow his cues and remember tummy-time really does impact not only gross motor but language in the sense of developing muscles in the neck, face, mouth. It's extremely important, even just 30 seconds at a time, 5 times a day. :)
And, maybe you need to readjust your thinking. Change your identity of yourself, that super-mom now consists of doing it all, but maybe not being perfect at it. :)
I have a post that hangs in my room that reads something like, "not knowing isnt bad, its not wanting to know thats the problem." And just the fact that your concerned with all the aspects of life, means you'll make it work, you'll keep trying different thins until it comes together the way the feels right.
*hug*
Toni is VERY WISE! New motherhood (even older motherhood when your kiddo is school aged!) is infinitely demanding and changing, a completely new reality - where you just have to create a new "normal" and make small adjustments where you can. Best thing I ever did was join a MOPS group. Being able to talk to other moms going through the same things at the same time was infinitely helpful, and helped remind me that I can't be in charge of everything, can't be perfect - only GOD is - and to rely on his strength and promises for my life.
I love what Toni has to say about the "three of us" moments. As time goes on and the little G-man gets older, you will find more and more of those "us" moments, I promise!
Colleen had some wonderful words of wisdom as well. God did not wire any one of us for perfection - with it, we wouldn't need Him!
Covering you in prayer tonight. If you need anything... an ear, a break, a babysitter - I am here!
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