Baby is kicking up a storm!

I started feeling Baby movements about 2 weeks ago. The past few days these movements have really started to get stronger and more defined. I am pretty certain that by the end of the weekend K will get to feel the baby move too! We have our midwife appointment tomorrow and, as usual, I am excited about it! I don't have a long list of questions like I have the past few months though. I think there are only 2 or 3 so far...might have to work on that one! Oh and K and I borrowed a dvd of various natural births to watch too. We have to be sure to watch that tonite so we can return it tomorrow. I am sure I will spend half the time watching K to see his reactions to all of this...good thing he's strong and not squeamish!

a ripple in the water

Some people in our lives are in and out quickly, yet they make such alasting, positive impression. They are like the tiny pebble dropped in still water and the rippley circles just continue to radiate quietly outward, growing larger and larger. I met this kind of a person through work. Dr. Ed had a small fire in his home. Meeting him, being able to help him through the confusing maze of an insurance claim and get his personal property cleaned, restored and back to him quickly was actually an honor for me. He is the kind of person whose voice you hear on the phone and even though you aren't close, you immediately feel tension drain from you and you are in a better mood. Dr. Ed is the most caring gentleman that just exudes peace! I am so bummed because he is a pediatrician and his practice is on the opposite side of the world from me. I would love to have him as the pediatrician for our child. And we all know how I feel about doctors! (For those of you who don't know, it's not favorable.) At work I pride myself on taking care of my customers, but it was different for Dr. Ed. I wanted to make sure that this fire would be less than a blip on the radar for him. His gentle demeanor and the peace he spreads is a gift and the children who have been his patients are so blessed! Thank you Dr. Ed for being that ripple in my life. I will always remember you fondly!

speaking of magnetic belly...

Here is a pic of my 20 week baby bump...


...I took the first picture when I was 13 weeks pregnant wearing these (pre-preggo) jeans and pre-preggo tee shirt. I plan on doing periodical shots wearing the same outfit. So far the jeans still button and zip, though they are so NOT comfortable. And lucky for me, they are my "fat" jeans, the jeans I had been wearing most of first tri are no where near fitting!

What would your super Heroine/Hero power be?

My dear friend Val sent me a the link to the tee above. I love it and am sure it will find it's way to my closet before baby is born! I grew up with a family that took road trips and I still love them. One of the questions I would ask, and still do, when stuck in the car is "If you could have any power, like super hero power, what would it be?" It is entertaining to ask this in a large group of people and insightful at the same time. The last few years, my own answer was to be able to be healthy and function normally without needing to sleep...imagine how short my TO DO list would be in less than a week! Imagine the amazing things I could learn as I read all nite! Imagine the quilting that would be getting done and the scrapbooking! And the gym, it'd be easy to get a workout in every day if sleep didn't have to interfere! Sigh, but since that's just not happening, I will settle for the super power on the tee shirt!

How 'bout you? What's your dream super power?

Magnetic attraction?

It's strange, I have never really understood the whole touching a pregnant belly thing. Then a few years ago I realized that I felt "drawn" to reach out and touch the large preggo bellies. I didn't know why! Before I got pregnant I thought I would be outraged if someone tried to touch my belly. I mean really, where does someone get off just touching my stomach uninvited? (insert indignant foot stomp here)

Fast-forward to now...I can't keep my hand off my swelling belly. I fall asleep with one hand on my lower belly, the other above it as if I am cradling the baby already. I touch my stomach more than a few times a day. My niece, sister, mom and a co-worker are touching my belly whenever they see me. (Naturally, K is touching the belly lots and saying Hi to baby so he is the understood exception to this whole discussion.) And ya know what, I am surprised that I actually like it. I feel that excitement, the shared wonder and love coming thru these gentle hands, curious hands. It's like a magnet inside me that just draws out the loving touch of so many people. When someone touches the belly I just smile and realize how loved this child is already. We are blessed!

One more baby update from ultrasound yesterday

I was a little distracted last nite when I wrote the entry so here are a few more details I forgot to put in. Our Baby weighs in at 11.07 ounces right now and is approximately 10 inches long from head to toe. It was hard to get that measurement since the peanut was moving around so much and then when it did hold still it was all curled up. I know some of you are using old wives tales to try to figure out if it's a blue or pink...the heart rate ws 139. (according to my sister, that means BOY) The placenta is in a great place so no concerns about placents previa.

We also got to see the eyes move yesterday! It was soo cool! The eyelids are still shut, but because the skin is still so thin it was easy to see the lens of the eye and to watch it move around as Baby appeared to be practicing looking around. Also, the umbilical cord is looking great with the 3 vessels and it's pumping superbly. We got to hear the pulse in the umbilical cord and see the blood imaging. It was nice to see that part being healthy as that is how all nutrition and oxygen is getting to Baby. We are officially at 20 weeks, 1/2 way to meeting our child!

And I WAS WRONG ABOUT the fibroid, it is a little SMALLER than the last ultrasound!!! At 15 weeks it was 2.25" x 1.53" x 1.8" yesterday it was 1.5" x 1.3" x 1.5"! I am ecstatic!! It's still on the outside of the uterus and is not encroaching on Baby. Truly a miracle!!! Please pray that I continue to have the strength to eat properly for Baby and me. It's hard sometimes to change such old habits, but ooohhh soooooo worth it! And thank you for all your prayers and encouragement!

We have an average baby.

Above, our Baby lying on it's side, yawning!

At least that's what the ultrasound says. :-) Baby measured in the 50% for head and chest and leg length and all other sizes so we are right in the middle as far as growth and development. We also got to see the brain and it's hemispheres and cortexes, the 4 chambers and 2 ventricles of the heart, the kidneys, liver, and all the bones! I was amazed at how clearly the bones were developed; it was obvious at first glance when we saw the radius and the ulna (the 2 bones in your lower arm). The spine looks great, tapers where it should in the sacrum and curves at the top in the c-spine. It was just fun to see baby moving all over the place too. The ultrasound tech was fabulous and shared all the details she was seeing and measuring. One thing that was funny, at our last ultrasound the legs were a few days behind in length compared to the rest of the body, and they still are...so the poor baby has my proportions...my torso is longer in proportion than my legs. Poor baby will have my short legs! Oh, and the other good news is that the fibroid tumor has remained at about the same size as our last ultrasound which is approximately 1/2 the size it was at 9 weeks. The diet and supplements and prayer are obviously still working because normally, the fibroid would be growing throughout pregnancy. So, here is what you've been waiting for...some pics of baby!

Below, Baby on it's side. You can see the lens in its eye, it's the circle in the "top" eye. The arm is tucked under the head like you would if you were lying on your side. Cuuute!!!!

Below, Baby face down, with it's arm under their head, resting...

You're never too old to be yelled at by Mom!

Apparently I have gone overboard in my bargain deal baby geat quest. I got yelled at by my Mom for having all the fun stuff for Baby already. I just can't help it. We have received some amazing stuff for free from friends who are done having babies or who are in between having babies. I've also hit a few garage sales and Craigslist too. I am proud of the fact that I was a good bargain hunter and thrilled that we have such generous friends! We have a crib, changing table, porta-crib, Amby Baby (it's a cool baby hammock thingy), 1 car seat, swing, bouncy seat, baby carrier (wearable kind), diaper bag, an exersaucer, some books (for baby and for us), and lots of clothes! And for all of that I paid a total of $145!!! Bargain queen!

Of course, the baby room looks like a disaster because I painted it last weekend and still have to put the trim back up. Oh, Mom, don't worry, there will still be things to buy for the munchkin!

One last look at Baby

On Wednesday K and I have our 20 week ultrasound appointment. I am excited to see Baby, but I feel guilty about it too. See, we have a 50 gallon ultrasound tank at work, I have had to stick my hand in to grab some small things that fall to the bottom of it sometimes. That is the most *uncomfortable* feeling!!! The ultrasonic waves penetrate the skin, vibrate up the arm and into my ears making it feel like my ear bones are rattling. It's so unnerving and icky!!! I feel terrible putting our Baby thru this experience. It's no wonder that babies move around so much during ultrasound exams. Poor things must hate that sensation!

Anyway, we see Baby tomorrow and it likely the last time we see the little peanut until we meet it in February.

Sooooo Cuuuute!

Our friends, M & C spent the weekend on the North Shore. I miss my Lake (Lake Superior) so I may have to get up there yet this fall. M called me and left me a voice mail of my lake; the waves crashing along the shore and the wind. It was awesome! When they got back, they dropped off the cuutest little baby booties/socks for the Baby! I love 100% wool. If you get merino wool it's sooo soft and comfy! If your wool is itchy, it came from a sheep that should be eaten, not worn. Not all wool is equal. Anyway, C & M brought back these tiny little booties. They are for 3-6 months babies and are just adorable! They are super soft merino wool by SmartWool. I can't wait to get them on the Little One! Thanks so much M & C!!!!!

another working weekend

Above, the Yellow Monster, a good helper dog!

So, I finally got rid of that pesky headache. A nice massage finally kicked it, along with some ice. So, I put that 'ol respirator back on and painted K's office and the Baby's room. Both rooms were painted when we moved in 4 years ago, but they needed a little freshening up. Both of them are the same antique white as the kitchen and living room. It's pretty fresh looking. At some point, after the kitchen remodel, I will be adding some more colorful touches to the Baby room...a border, some jungle grasses, large wall decals.

This week my goal is to hit the workouts pretty heavily. I just feel better once I get done working out. I actually went for a jog on Saturday morning and it felt great! It was really nice to be able to jog without anything aching. Then, after the workouts this week, I am refocusing on the kitchen project. Ya, that means more respirator hours, yeah. I have lots of staining and varnishing to do so we can install the new railing systems. Then, this coming weekend we are helping put a new roof on my folks house. Hopefully the weather will cooperate!

grieving...a family without a son and now without Mom

It is with great sadness and with tears streaming down my face as I tell you that Kris Tierney passed away this morning around 4am. Please, please hold her husband and 2 sons in prayer as they try to get through this. The new baby will never know his mom except thru stories and pictures. He did get to lay on her chest for 10 minutes, but she was in a coma...oh, my heart is just breaking for them. If you can help them with a financial contribution, please click here. See my blog below for the back story on this.

Desperate for Prayer!!!!!!!!!!!

The Tierney Family is no stranger to pain. After a five year battle, they lost their son Kyle to cancer on March 27, 2008. He was seven. Kris Tierney was expecting another child in October but suffered a catasrophic stroke on September 6, 2008; they took the baby by emergency c-section. Baby Luke Kristopher was born about 8 weeks early with a hole in his lung. As of today, he is tube-free and doing well. As mom, the stroke has left her with no brain activity, and very little hope for survival. Pray for a miracle.

Many of have asked, What can I do?

There are three things friends and family are asking for:

1. PRAY, PRAY, PRAY
Keep the Tierney and Katzmark families in your prayers.

2. Give them TIME
Goal: $36,000 (this will help to cover medical expenses not covered, and house payments for one year). Rick will need to be away from work and has exhausted all of his time during Kyle's final days. Money donated will help give them the TIME they desperately need right now, without the fear of where the next house payment will come from. Any amount will help. Click HERE or send checks payable to "Tierney Fund", P.O. Box 9366, North St. Paul, MN 55109.

3. FORWARD this to everyone you know
May God bless you for your thoughts and prayers. May God bless you for your generosity and bless the Tierney and Katzmark families at this most difficult time. Questions? Contact Jason: jason@jasongorman.com.

Other links to keep updated:

www.caringbridge.org/visit/kristierney
www.kyletierney.com

fried, frazzled, shot

I am just exhausted and burned out and I have no idea why. There have been several opportunities to take photos lately, times when I had my camera with me and I just didn't *want* to take it out. I feel like there is not enough time in the day for a fraction of what I need to get done. Work, trying to keep the house somewhat clean, get exercise in 5x a week, play with the Monster dog, connect with Hubby, work on the kitchen remodel/facelift, see friends that I miss...argghh!!! That doesn't even include "fun" time stuff like scrapbooking or quilting or taking a photo-field trip or playing with nieces and nephews!

I am bummed that I am in some sort of burn-out funk and I don't know how to shake it. To top it all off I am fighting a killer headache that had me totally out of comission yesterday. It's still here and I know I don't need a chiropractor for it (I was adjusted) and I have had plenty of water. I won't take any thing for it since I am 19 weeks pregnant, so I am relying on ice packs and trying to relax. Ya, right.

Controversial? maybe...

The United States of America is an amazing place to live. We have the rights to our opinions and to voice those opinions. I saw this today and was touched by this young man's sincerity and eloquence. He delivers his viewpoint without profanity, without name calling, without disparaging remarks. Even if you disagree, do you have the courage to stand up for what you belive in? I do...

The Yellow Monster strikes again

Last nite was a therapy dog nite. The Big Yellow Monster and I visited a women's shelter in St. Paul. We are a part of the art therapy program for the kids there. It's rewarding, frustrating and heartbreaking all at the same time. We see alot of the same kids come back time and time again. Their mom's are just in bad relationships or making bad choices and they are trying to break the cycle of violence. Last nite, the group of kids consisted of 9 gorgeous kids, ages 6-13. The Monster was the only dog there so as soon as we walked in the door there was a moment of shreiking, yelling, cheering and basically, pandemonium. We all got settled on the rug on the flooor, Monster in the middle and 9 new faces all around him petting, touching, talking all at once. And like a trooper, he rolled onto his side, listened to me murmur "good boy, easy, nice dog" and he let the kids glom all over him. It was wonderful to see them all lovin' on him. We spent time talking about dog safety and rules, then Monster did a little show of all his tricks and obedience. We talked about what happens when dogs are naughty. I told them that we don't hit him because that's not allowed in our house. Most of them were shocked at a rule like that.

Last nite's art project was for the kids to make a painting or drawing of their dream fort or tree house. Then we talked about who would be allowed in, why or why not and what the rules are. It was so insightful and sad at times. Of course, the Monster was a hit and he was allowed in pretty much all the houses and in one, he was the guard dog to keep mean people out. The kids were told that I was pregnant and there were a few questions about that. One little girl asked me how many kids I have, I told her that this was going to be my first one. She looked at me and said, "You're a teenager, right?" Whoa, that is a perspective and a way of life for her! I told her no, I was 35 years old. Then several of them told me I was too old to have my first baby, that their moms were all younger. It was hard to hear them talk about how normal it was to be a teenager and pregnant. Talk about living in a different world, right under my nose. It ended up being a great conversation. Of course, I am choosing to believe that she asked if I was a teenager because I just look so youthful! (ha!)

18 weeks pregnant already!

I cannot believe that we are almost 1/2 way done with the pregnancy already and so much closer to meeting our Baby! It's still surreal. Last night I put K's hand on my growing belly and I think I may have felt a movement. Then later I thought I felt something again. I am hoping and wishing to feel the baby move so I don't know if this is literally just wishful thinking or real yet. I am excited to be certain and feel those first movements!

Baby is measuring about 5.6" long from head to butt and weighs in around 6.7 ounces. That's nearly as long as my hand! It's just crazy to think of something that big inside me and I can't feel it. Baby development is also growing in leaps and bounds. Baby is hiccuping now, loud noises in my environment will startle it and may cause it's arms and hands to go up to try to cover their ears! Also, the vocal chords are developed and the baby can (and will) be crying at times, though there will be no sound due to lack of air, only amniotic fluid. Oh, and Baby can yawn now too! It's amazing and miraculous to think of the life growing inside me and all of the wonderful things to come!

sewing nite

I am so lucky to have my parents close by! I am also so lucky to have a mom that is a fabulous seamstress! I have short legs so unless I find pants or jeans in "short" length I have to hem them. Since I have been bargain maternity shopping, I have not found any maternity pants short enough. So tonite I am headed to Mom and Dad's for a lesson in hemming! I am excited to get to spend this time with my mom working on a little project. I get to work with my dad so I see him every day which I love, but I don't get to see my mom enough. I am already looking forward to packing up the jeans, pants, my pins and sewing machine and heading off to the folks house for sewing, oh, and dinner too!

ahh, the smell of a respirator

I was a good mommy and wore my respirator for all of the priming and painting that I did this weekend. That was in addition to having all of the windows open and running a commercial HEPA filter too. I am happy with how much I got done! K was off to South Dakota for a hunting trip with our friend and also my dad so I felt a little bit of self-imposed pressure to get lots done while he was gone. This time though, the project was already a known event and so were all the colors! No surprises!!!!!

Since we refinished all the baseboards and casing when we move in 4 years ago, I just removed the trim rather than mask it and risk getting *any* paint on it! Then I sanded the walls to get rid of any imperfections, patched a few areas that needed it, primed the once dark purple kitchen, then painted two coats of antique white! The entryway and hallway also got a fresh coat of paint, but it was the same antique white as we painted 4 years ago, so it just looks fresh! The antique white kitchen though, that is a change! I want to get the new railing system moving ahead again and then we can start sanding the cabinets and we can begin that part of the facelift!

Below, the "before" of our dark purple kitchen...

Above, the "after" our new antique white kitchen...

Um, there's another project underway.

Above, getting ready to prime the walls tomorrow...

Ya, you really can't expect me to leave well enough alone, can you? Hubby and I have decided to give the kitchen a face lift. It's the last room in the house to get a makeover and it's one of the rooms I have hated the most since we bought the house 4 years ago. We're patching the walls, painting the walls, making new doors and drawer fronts for all the cabinets, sanding the cabinet boxes, re-staining the cabinets (with wood dye, not stain) a chocolaty-deep brown color, installing new countertops and sink, installing a new maple laminate floor, removing the old wood spindle railing systems leading to the family room and upstairs and replacing them with more modern wood and metal railings. Sounds pretty easy, huh? The hard part is that our September calendar is filling up FAST! We committed to helping a friend and my parents both put on new roofs this month. And, I asked our midwife if it was ok to do roofing since I have done it lots before. She nixed that idea. I am almost mad at myself for asking...

Since the newly refinished cabinets will be dark, we have decided to paint the walls a very neutral antiquey-white color. That will be a HUGE change from the dark eggplant color we painted it when we moved in 4 years ago! The lighter color should bring out the chocolate tones of the cabinets nicely and I will pick 3 of our favorite New Zealand pics, get big enlargements made and frame them for our huge 12' tall by 15' wide kitchen wall that is completely empty. That will dress it up, give it some great artwork, a focal point and a punch of color. I am guessing that I will buy frames that are just raw wood and dye them to match the cabinets. This should be fun! I will update with pics as we progress...slowly....

Above, the s----l----o----w process to remove the spindles from the top rail that we are keeping, it's already sanded and ready for re-staining.

My Book List

As I have mentioned before, I love to read, question, formulate opinions and read some more. The idea of truly "informed consent" appeals to me on a lot of levels. So, this pregnancy has been full of learning, questioning, learning some more and lots of dialogue. Some of you have asked what I've been reading so here is a little introduction:

Birthing From Within by Pam England. It is a very in depth book about the emotional part of labor and delivery. There is an accompanying work book for mom and dad as well as reinforcement that whatever you choose, as long as you choose mindfully is ok.

25 Things Every Mother Should Know by Martha Sears R.N. A little gem of a book with wonderful trust-your-instincts, love your baby, get close to your baby advise. One of my favorites because it's a short book, with each of the 25 chapters only being 2-4 pages long and each page is packed with great information.

Father's First Steps - 25 Things Every New Dad Should Know by Dr. William Sears. Ok, ok, that was on K's list to read, but I got to it first! It really is a remarkable book and it's one I am going to tell K is a must-read from cover to cover. Beautifully written to appeal to guys!

Spilled Milk - Breastfeeding Adventures and Advise from Less than Perfect Moms by Andy Steiner. A real-life compilation of nursing stories from moms who nursed for years, months or weeks. What did work, what didn't work and the feelings about it. I enjoyed the un-glamorized look at breastfeeding, truly a reality check with encouragement!

The Attachment Parenting Book - A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby by Dr. William Sears and Martha Sears, R.N. I just started this book a couple of nights ago. It's a loaner from our midwife and already it just "clicks" with me. Being close to baby, knowing your baby, loving and bonding with your baby. knowing what I know about brain function, it's obvious that infants are incapable of "manipulating" us, holding and comforting them and loving them is what we're supposed to do and this book goes down that road. I love it!

Our dear friend and chiropractor Val, also gave us a subscription to a FABULOUS parenting magazine called Mothering Magazine - The magazine of natural family living. It's earthy, clean, wholesome and full of information that appeals to us. Whole foods, organic products, cotton diapers, chemical free crib mattresses, homebirthing, drug-free birthing, vaccinations, and TONS more! I have read our first one from cover to cover twice already! I recommend this to anyone over any other parenting magazine.

On my "need to find" list at the recommendation of our midwife is a Bradley method birthing book. It's a birthing method/ideology model. So, off to the Dakota County library system to see what they have for me to check out! If any of you have recommendations, please, let me know!

Baby Update

Sorry, no ultrasound pics! I may have the courage to post a "belly shot" sometime soon, still working that one out in my head...

We had our monthly appointment yesterday with our midwife. I just *love* that hour! We are so happy to have a midwife, not only are the appointments a whole hour long, be we get to spend a lot of time talking, asking questions, bouncing ideas off her, getting feedback and such. It is so wonderful to have such an interactive relationship.

I am officially 17 weeks, 1 day pregnant today and baby is growing well. We guesstimate (based on the last ultrasound and projected growth for this far along) that Baby is now over 5" long from crown to rump (head to cute little butt!) and weighs in at around 5 ounces! Baby can hear noises outside of the womb now too and is growing finger and toe nails. The heartbeat was, of course, amazing to hear too! It was going between the 140s and the 150's since Baby was moving around quite a bit. I think that she was using a doppler or fetalscope to hear Baby's heartrate, almost right away there was this weird static-scratching sound and she said, "that's the baby moving!" and we heard that sound several more times and the heartrate would change too. She told us that it was great to see the change in the heartrate because it means that the heart is working like it's supposed to, if it stays too constant it could be a sign of less-than-great things.

I also asked her for some recommended readings and she gave me a book to borrow for the month called The Attachment Parenting Book - A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby by Dr. William Sears and Martha Sears R.N. They are an incredible couple who have raised 8 children and are really loving, caring "experts" in the baby field. I have read a few of their books and am most impressed that they keep saying, Mom and Dad are the best experts on their own baby. Above all, you know your child better than anyone and any expert or book. Trust your instincts, love your baby and learn about your child. I like that message!

Tomorrow I will post a list of some of the books I have read and just love! Poor K has quite a pile of reading material piling up on his side of the bed. Last nite I offered to put them in what I consider priority order and mark the parts I feel are most important. I am blessed with wicked fast reading (Thanks Dad for forcing me to learn to speed read! It's paying off!) so I am able to get through all the quality books I can get my hands on right now.

I can't wait for Wednesday's appointment!

Above, Split Apple Rock, Tasman National Park, New Zealand. We kayaked around this!

We have our monthly appointment with our midwife on Wednesday. I *love* these visits! We get to hear the baby's heartbeat, ask questions and learn from our midwife. We both enjoy this time. It's an uninterrupted hour of time dedicated to me and Baby and our health and goals for the month. We already have a list of questions to ask this time. Questions about working out and weightlifting, questions about sleeping on my tummy and back, that sort of thing. But mostly, I can't wait to hear Baby's heartrate again! That is the most gorgeous sound!

Is the stuff you put on your body toxic?

The $50 billion a year beauty industry is unregulated. That means that in the United States it's legal for beauty products to contain chemicals known to be linked to cancer, learning disabilities, infertility and other chronic diseases, all of which are on the rise in the US.

In my search for safe beauty products for me, Hubby and our Baby I found a great web site called the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics. From there I found a link with disturbing information about the toxins in baby products. Some of the products you trust the most are the most dangerous to put on your baby. Your skin is the largest organ in your body, what you put on it, gets absorbed and goes into your blood stream and other vital organs. To check out the safety of baby products you can go here. Be aware of what you put on or in your body, whatever you choose, be an informed consumer. Now, I need to filter thru all those baby product lists and make a list of the products that we will be using with our child...